Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Al Qaeda Top Management Jig

The world renowned charitable organization is on the look out for its top brass. Hurry! Send in your resumes to osamadead&lovin’it@abbottabad.co.pk

Unlimited perks and benefits include:

- 7 or more spouses; a lifetime opportunity for legal unlimited sex with multiple partners.
- Ultimate power as the world is your playground and incredible projects of various dimensions ranging form twin towers to triplets to quadruplets.
- In addition, you get to know what, when and where the world leaders are conspiring and how to stay one step ahead of the competition.

The Egyptian humanitarian Saif al-Adel reportedly has taken over as an interim operational leader of Al Qaeda until the charitable trust appoints Osama Bin Laden’s permanent successor. The visionary leader has announced that there is a huge potential that remains untapped within the trust and the immediate strategy is to find a suitable candidate to ensure its smooth workflow. The selection process includes a written test, group discussion, a personal & a panel interview along with a rigorous physical endurance test.

The written tests include general aptitude test and psychoanalytical tests to analyze your potential and strategies that benefit the organization in the long run. Exclusive reports of the leaked topics of discussion brought to you in collaboration with Julian Assange and ‘A’ Corner include:

• What next? Pentagon or Hexagon!
• Who is a more prettier victim – Kate or Pipa Middleton!
• It rhymes - Obama slayed Osama!
• Are the Chinese governmental initiatives more user friendly than that of Pakistan?

The physical endurance test will be similar to that of Ironman Triathlon, also includes scaling of Mt. Everest and fun suicide bombing. Those who escape without a scratch will be grilled by a panel of hardcore Guantanamo Bay escapees. The panel interview will be topped up with a personal interview with Saif al-Adel and a posthumous Osama Bin Laden.

P.S. Wishing you the very best! Go for it; unleash the smiling assassin in you.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

It Happens Only In India!

Jahan Stadium mein Leakage,
Footbridge mein Breakage,
Ho CM ke Chopper Gaayab,
It Happens Only In India!